* * *
When my son was three, my wife and I lost him at Epcot.
The replacement kid we took home instead seems to have adjusted well though.
* * *
“Remember how fun the bumper cars at the Carnival Pier, were?” I asked my son.
“Yeah!” he replied enthusiastically as I steered our car into oncoming traffic.
* * *
The beast resembled a classic centaur, except the top half was a beautiful naked woman and the bottom half was a fearsome tiger.
I taxidermied her myself from a tiger I bought from a breeder and a woman I met on Tinder.
* * *
I laughed when the old gypsy woman told me I’d die falling off a chair.
What she didn’t tell me is that it would be kicked out from under me with a noose tied around my neck.
* * *
I knew I had proof we were living in a broken simulation when I rolled snake eyes on the dice for the two-hundredth time in a row.
Whenever I try to show someone else and always roll random numbers instead that’s when I knew the simulation wasn’t broken, it was just cruel.
