It was August when we pieced together that I was pregnant.
It was September when the doctor said it was true.
It was a long wait until November when he told us what it was.
A beautiful baby girl.
All ours and ours alone.
But April was a long time away and winter was long.
Our home all the sudden seemed dangerous.
The stairs, door handles, cleaning supplies, electrical outlets, baths, and hardwood floors seemed to taunt me.
We bought baby gates and cushions for the handles.
We put locks on all the cabinets and covers on all the sockets.
We put anti slip mats in the baths and even got large area rugs to cover the whole floor.
And yet I still saw danger in plain sight.
My husband’s large, strong hands.
His tools in the garage.
What if he got angry at my beautiful baby girl?
What if I wasn’t home and he couldn’t handle it?
So, I made dinner and put my sleeping pills into his food.
I tied him down onto our bed once he was out cold.
And I took his saw and then took his hands.
My beautiful baby girl is going to be safe and never be harmed.
And he’ll understand, he wants the same for her, too.